Sometimes. I will never forget the day I was sitting in the Princess Margaret cancer hospital examination room for the umpteenth time. This was the day that I would cross the magical, 5-year cancer milestone. I have experienced that the fear of…WILL the cancer come back? Never, never completely leaves you. For me, living with this fear led me to a new level of faith. (A Gift). And for both my husband and me, at times, it has felt like a fine line to live in fear that my cancer will come back (9 years on the other side) or to be in faith that I am indeed cured. My husband by my side waiting for my Oncologist to review my most recent lab results at the 5-year mark both felt like and reminded me that I am not so in charge of this thing I experience as Life. To hear my Oncologist, say, after 3 years it is not likely it will come back. Now, where you’re at…. YOUR CURED. Wowser wasn’t expecting to hear those I’ve just won another lottery. I already felt like I won the “You Get Another Crack at This” when I got sober now 7 years prior. Not everyone has the experience of cancer, but we all do come across circumstances in life that put us in a position of choosing how we handle a situation. I have at times made the wrong choices and kept myself in the fear channel and drained so very much of my precious time and energy. Choosing Faith when I can, feels better, and always, always elevates my mental health. Not to mention how many times it has led to much better outcomes. And don’t get me wrong, it is still hard sometimes. It does help to question ourselves sometimes. “Am I in Fear in this instance when Faith may be a better choice that maybe I should try?”
When we operate from fear our choices are not always our best. For me, faith over fear doesn’t mean I am not afraid, it more means I try to not let it consume me, my energy or lead me to a bad choice. I still also live in a bit of fear that I may relapse and drink again, or fear that I may make a mistake at work, or fear of the future that I cannot see. How I manage is to do my part and try to have faith and let what I can unfold on its own. It’s a lot less work and feels better. I hope this helps shift someone’s thinking a little to move to the other side of the line…Faith over Fear.